mind of illness: a d d i c t i o n

There are many factors when discussing mental health. As a result of my many experiences with mental illness and addiction, I’ve decided to create a few excerpts that highlight my mentality and my thoughts when going through each issue. The deep thoughts I’ve had, the life-changing epiphanies I’ve contemplated.

When I fall asleep and relive each trauma, and every sin, I can’t help but think, what would I say to my younger self?

“Stay away from drugs??”

“Go to that military school you were accepted to, fuck what mami says about the distance??”

What can I say to someone who also experiences what I do?

Although I’ve tried to describe my experiences with addiction, the “Jay” who wrote and published that book isn’t the Jay who’s been updating my audience this past year and a half since starting this journey. I grew, I succeeded, I failed and I digressed from my original goal. Whether I stayed on the path or not, I still would be a different person. I’ve had a set of issues that now influence my decisions and although this path to recovery is never-ending, I believe that the key to staying sober is accepting who I once was.

So here I am; writing another post. The first excerpt in my “mind of illness” collection. In a way this is what I wish someone told me before I decided to take that first little pill that turned my life upside down..

Published by The Reticent

My goal isn’t even success nor redemption. The damage I’ve caused is way too deep. I look to provide a mental and emotional sanctuary to those need it and remind our people that change is possible. Who knows, maybe if I had that I’d really have success and redemption.

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